A Tale of Two Binks

A TALE OF TWO BINKS

(This poem is a my take on the Jiyo Parsi Scheme! For the uninitiated and those living abroad, this scheme is Government-sponsored and is a brave attempt to increase the Parsi headcount! just thought I'd get a little current after my alcohol-infused past life! All players in this poem are purely fictional and figments of my imagination and any reference to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental  Friends, who know, know who this is addressed to.) 

The fun committee was in a vexing quandary,
A notification had been sent to all and sundry,
Find Parsi mates for your Parsi friends,
To kickstart this campaign and set new trends!

This set them thinking, they had two friends named Binks,
Attractive little ladies after you straighten out the kinks,
The need was urgent, they had to find some strong links,
Before the sun, on the western horizon, sinks!

Now the committee had a gujju and catlick,
Who looked at the crop to make their pick,
Gujju decided that purpose would best be served,
With a union of akoori, jalebi and fafda curved!

"Can you imagine?" the catlick cried,
It won't work even if the gujju tried,
That diet will bring long-term colicky pain,
No flatulent half-Parsis, pure is the new main!

We must search high and not too low,
'Tis time to go and let wild oats sow,
All those bank cashiers have passed on long,
To realms unknown with no dance and song!

Be not soft and gentle, girls, be bold and loud,
You must be part of this Great Indian Crowd,
You must contribute to the nation's population,
By indulging in generous and copious copulation!

Come out, girls, it's not too late,
Sooner or later you have to mate,
Preserve the pure line at any rate,
No matter if appetites do not sate!

Antonio

The Last Word

THE LAST WORD

Do you love me?

Yes.

Why do you love me?

Because.....

Is it because of my brown eyes?

Uh-huh....

Is it because of my translucent skin?

Mm mm...

Is it my long silky hair that attracts you?

Well....

You are not paying any attention to what I am saying!

Will you pay attention to what I am about to say?

I hate when you get all professorial!

Whatever, but when I am with you, love happens!

I hate when you go all existential on me!

Well, the greatest truths are simple but we choose to complicate them! Why?

There you go again....

Antonio

Ode to Alcohol - The Prohibition Years

Ode to Alcohol - The Prohibition Years
(dedicated to Cedric & Mario who turned 18+18+18+6 and Freddy who turned 60, twenty years ago. He was always ahead of his time! By way of disclaimer, all references to persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. Well, we have passed a milestone, let's take a look at the beginnings)

There's no time for anger or long pause in fears,
No time for envy or pride or glycerine tears,
Milestones are swift images seen through a speeding window,
Do not lie low or go slow when alcohol is in full flow!

Alcohol was the answer and covered it all,
The orgasmic peak and the ultimate fall,
As we ride life's roller-coaster, milestones roll by,
And nervous old ladies look at us and sigh!

It all began in a dimly-lit Prohibition-era speakeasy,
Modern-day drinkers would flinch with stomachs queasy,
Dickensian characters, lovable clowns, suspect hooch,
Even after two sips, you dare not give your girl a smooch!

Old aunties, older bartenders, even pretty ones thrown in,
Twilight people living in the glow of streetlight fringe,
Only the faint-hearted would shrink back and cringe,
Welcome one, welcome all to these dens of inequity and sin!

Only a few are chosen, so we were outraged when we saw them there,
Cedric and I looked at each and exclaimed, "How can they dare?",
As older brothers we had to prove a point
So we threw Bob and Bossy out of the joint!

Erotic paintings on the ceiling, linoleum on the floor,
Leave your feelings and shoes outside the door,
In the end, it is difficult your footwear to spy,
While the old ganglord, upon you, casts a mirthful eye!

Then there was Fred, they called him Wrong Said Fred,
He loved his hooch but approached the den with dread,
For Big Brother Tommy would be lurking with one eye on glass
And the other eye trained on Auntie's comely little lass!

One named Mario, to temptation did not succumb,
He preferred to play life by rule of thumb,
But in his home, he stocks nothing but the best,
So we visit to check if his single malts have passed time's test!

Out of such humble beginnings, do habits grow,
And for all one's achievements no prizes to show,
No grandstand, no stage, no Prize Nobel,
This is as far I will go with kiss and tell!

Antonio