I have spent more than two years in a therapeutic daycare centre for human beings who are mentally afflicted and emotionally disturbed but, for the life of me, I cannot even fathom the causes and consequences that afflict them. I try to understand but I fail miserably. All I see are brave attempts to get the remnants of life together, an attempt to stitch a badly assembled tapestry of emotions. This is my attempt at understanding that tapestry!
NOBODY
KNOWS
(Anthem for the mentally afflicted)
They say my own demons I must slay,
But I still can hear the sad music play,
The morning sun burns, is it already day?
May I lie here forgotten if I may?
I asked if it is day because the drawn curtains
Let in a sliver of irritatingly cheerful sunlight,
I cannot escape from dark night's lonesome journey,
The lions are gathering for the gladiators' tourney!
Let me lie here, let me lie here, forever still,
As flies buzz over the carcass of yesterday's dream,
It may sound like some mundane routine drill,
Nobody knows, nobody hears my silent scream!
But tomorrow I will rise in the early morn,
Stare at the sun, like a rooster, greet the dawn,
You will find me bright, shiny and brand-new,
Like a flower with a drop of early morning dew!
You give me the sour, vinegary emotion of hope,
You say I must accept, I must relentlessly cope,
You say you can imagine, you know exactly how I feel,
Your misplaced sense of empathy, I must not steal!
But nobody knows of weights that anchor me to my bed,
The days when my body is leaden with molten dread,
I stay here, my safe haven, my harbour, my bay,
Where I can listen to what the sinister voices say!
I want to set a course from this sheltered quay,
Sail away into unknown waters, uncharted seas,
Navigate in city traffic chaos, hang from local trains,
Ordinary living, ordinary death as ordinary life drains !
They say my own demons I must slay,
But I still can hear the sad music play,
The morning sun burns, is it already day?
May I lie here forgotten if I may?
I asked if it is day because the drawn curtains
Let in a sliver of irritatingly cheerful sunlight,
I cannot escape from dark night's lonesome journey,
The lions are gathering for the gladiators' tourney!
Let me lie here, let me lie here, forever still,
As flies buzz over the carcass of yesterday's dream,
It may sound like some mundane routine drill,
Nobody knows, nobody hears my silent scream!
But tomorrow I will rise in the early morn,
Stare at the sun, like a rooster, greet the dawn,
You will find me bright, shiny and brand-new,
Like a flower with a drop of early morning dew!
You give me the sour, vinegary emotion of hope,
You say I must accept, I must relentlessly cope,
You say you can imagine, you know exactly how I feel,
Your misplaced sense of empathy, I must not steal!
But nobody knows of weights that anchor me to my bed,
The days when my body is leaden with molten dread,
I stay here, my safe haven, my harbour, my bay,
Where I can listen to what the sinister voices say!
I want to set a course from this sheltered quay,
Sail away into unknown waters, uncharted seas,
Navigate in city traffic chaos, hang from local trains,
Ordinary living, ordinary death as ordinary life drains !
Nobody
knows, nobody sees the scars I carry,
Go on,
ignorant fool, you must not tarry,
Just laugh in your sleeve at this wretched soul,
With your stigma, you push me further down this deep, dark hole!
Antonio
Just laugh in your sleeve at this wretched soul,
With your stigma, you push me further down this deep, dark hole!
Antonio
