SOMEONE SNEEZED

Hi Guys, Enough of the dark stuff. Here's a poem to cheer even the most dour church-goer! Some of you may have received this poem from me  before I started this blog but fun and joy do not suffer in the retelling!

SOMEONE SNEEZED

Someone sneezed in church today, that someone was me,

The stained-glass panes rattled, it was plain for all to see,

It started deep within my nostrils and rose to a crescendo,

The explosion was loud but innocent, without any innuendo!

The little girl next to me began with a light series of chuckles,

Chortling merrily, passed the infection to dress full of buckles,

Who passed it on to the fat lady gurgling with delightful mirth,

And shook, shook within the last inch of her gargantuan girth!

Soon the giggles, chortles and sniggers filled the entire church,

Prompting the preacher-man to peer from his marbled perch,

This is not done, blasphemy, this is the devil’s doing, he cried,

While I wished unseen catastrophe so I could have sunk and died!

The surly usher took charge, sidled up, harshly he did mock,

Keep your unhealthy sneeze in your hanky or your sock,

Told him to take a healthy hike or go fly a kinetic kite,

And out of spite, in his box, I placed a miserly widow’s mite!

But the disaster, unlike lightning, decided to strike twice,

I fought the second one back, rolled on the floor thrice,

While the choir sang its hallelujahs and praised every lord,

I lay still for it was a strange way to worship god!

Bless me, father, for I have gravely and grievously sinned,

In church, sneeze I will not, no promise on passing wind!

Antonio